Feeling down... hoping reminiscing about Macca will make me feel better.

I already wish I could go back to this weekend. Reality has kicked me in the ass.

You already know Paul McCartney's show was amazing. He's Paul. He's a damn Beatle. Of COURSE its gonna be good. But I never expected it to be THIS amazing.

First and foremost, I am really glad I got to go to the "Shea Stadium repeat" shows. Selfish or not, I really wanted to hear Paul play Beatles songs. Those were honestly the songs that helped me more than anything. I honestly wasn't expecting him to play OVER 20 Beatles songs though! That thoroughly surprised me. A pleasant pleasant surprise, might I add.

He opened the show with "Drive my Car" (which I heard later on the train seems to be a standard show starter with Paul) quickly followed by Jet (and I think now thats why my shoulder is thrown out of socket). He then played "Only Mama Knows" and I was expecting a bunch of solo items. It wasn't too long before he was playing "Got To Get You Into My Life" and "The Long And Winding Road"

The turning point of the entire concert was when he came out with just a guitar. It was too early in the show to be "Yesterday," so I just had this gut feeling it was Blackbird. The guy that was sitting behind me agreed. We were very pleased that we were right. He explained why he wrote the song-- it was during the civil rights movement and wrote it about a young black girl in the south. It makes all the sense in the world, and is one of the best use of symbolism I've seen in a song. He then followed with an intense version of "Here Today"-- a song he wrote about John after he was murdered. He started out with "When John passed away" and he couldn't get another word out before the crowd cheered. He then asked everyone to "give it up for Johnny" and then explained it was all the things he wished he had said before John passed. I think he almost cried. He said that song drains him more than anything, so what was the best thing to do? Play "Dance Tonight" and get everyone on their feet.

I know many of my friends had sidebets on when I would cry. Would I cry when Paul walked on stage for the first time? Would I cry when he played a special Beatles song? I actually was very surprised when about an hour of performance had gone by and I hadn't cried... Then he came out with a ukelele. He walked up to the stage and said "I don't know if many of you know this, but George was a great ukelele player" and continues with some fun stories about him and George. Once again, he asked everyone to give it up for George, and I was very happy to cheer louder than I had the entire show (his cheer was equal to John's, which spoke a lot about how much the audience loved The Beatles, not John Lennon or Paul McCartney or George Harrison... Or Ringo, possibly) He then comes out with a ukelele version of "Something" (Which everyone sang the guitar part, including Paul) After the first verse, the band then comes out from the darkness of the stage and finishes the song as a big band. In the background were pictures of George and Paul-- from Paul's archives. I have seen thousands and thousands of pictures of George, and never saw those ones. I started crying. I also think that showed a lot about how close Paul and George were... Granted, they had more time than John and Paul did. It reminded me of the show that I had watched Paul on one time where he described his last moments with George before he passed. And thats all I will say about that (I've cried enough tonight) Paul followed that song with a nice little remark to ease the mood, saying "Frank Sinatra would later say that was his favorite Lennon McCartney song."--equipped with a hilarious snarky look on his face.

Paul rocked it out. I mean, full on ROCKED it. My dad described it fairly well. The first half of the show wasn't necessarily bland, but it was all about the music. It wasn't until he lashed out "Live and Let Die" complete with fireworks and pyrotechnics that said "Suck it Jonas Brothers" that the show went from epic to... fucking awesome. That's when the tides changed. At the end of "Live and Let Die" Paul banged the piano, sending the last bits of fire and fireworks into the air. The crowd cheered for at least 5 minutes while he recovered on the piano. He kept on making gestures that he couldn't hear.

He did some standard "Paul" stuff. "I Saw Her Standing There," "Get Back," and "Let it Be" I expected. I expected "Yesterday" and was very pleased with the outcome of that one. I loved "Hey Jude" a lot more than I expected, and I was humored when he had the entire crowd singing. He did "guys only" and "birds only" which made it more entertaining-- he basically hypnotized 50,000 people. There were some songs he came out with that I REALLY wasn't expecting. As soon as he finished "Band on the Run" (another staple), we all the sudden hear a jet sound come over the speakers before he lashes out "Back in the USSR." This wasn't the first time I had heard this at an epic concert-- Elton John and Billy Joel covered it in Nashville. But to hear the man who wrote it perform it... Elton who? Also, in his second encore, he played a song I NEVER thought I'd hear live-- "Helter Skelter." I have an obsession with this song, and I hate that Charles Manson has forever ruined the image of that song. The guy I was standing beside the entire show was headbanging to it and I must admit that I did to. He also did "A Day In The Life" that had the entire audience singing the "ahhhhh" after "went into a dream"... he messed us all up though as he came out with "Give Peace A Chance." All of us were quick to throw up our peace signs and sing along.

I was humoured by the fact that he played like he was still in the Beatles. He bounced when he played bass like he used to back in 1964. He never took a break. He played an endless 2 1/2 hours and had two encores. And I never realized how AMAZING of a guitar player he is. He threw out some Hendrix licks after "Let Me Roll It," leaving all of us in a crazed awe. He came up to the mic afterwards going "And that completes the Jimi Tribute of the show" and proceeds to tell the story of the release of Sgt Pepper on Friday, with Hendrix playing the entire record at his show the following Sunday. He was running around the stage like he was half his age. And if a 50000 person audience can be an intimate show, it would be this show. When Paul was on Letterman, he was extra witty, and I thought it might've been just scripted. Nope. That's just ol' Paulie. He would frequently refer to the Shea Stadium show with the Beatles, commenting that he couldn't hear anything from the combination of the bad PA system (followed with an impersonation of it) and "all the screaming girls." All of us girls would then follow with a very high pitched Beatlemaniac scream. Paul would laugh and go "Yeah like that." He did this several times throughout the show, the final time saying "I'm just being shameless now aren't I?" He was witty and shared moments with the crowd that we had always wanted answers to. He told us stories of his life, why he wrote this song, why he loved performing another song, and just little snippets of witty comments. He would read the signs. One of them said "Marry Me Paul" and he quickly yelled "NOO!" followed by a bellowing laugh from both him and the audience. He was having fun. He was doing it all his way, no strings attached.

All of this being said. I miss it all. Paul's show opened my eyes. I just experienced something I never would've expected possible. It made me realize nothing's out of reach and if I want to do it, I should work to get it and do it my way. I think "Here Today" did more for me than anything. Paul having that reaction on stage. Also when he did "My Love" and dedicated it to Linda (and the crowd cheered as loud as they did for John and George. Everyone loved Linda. God rest her soul) it opened my eyes that the people I love aren't always gonna be here. I need to tell them I love them before its too late. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Paul's show was just one step towards a new me. I needed something to jolt me into thinking about what I want to do with my life.

And then I turn back to reality and it starts kicking my butt.

Its gonna be a long process. But it feels right. I was more than blessed to witness such a monumental show. My life will never be the same.