How do things seem to work out so wrong that in the end it might actually be right?
There you are. Sitting in your own misery, deciding to just give in. It’s habit. You’re used to not getting what you want. I never said it wasn’t a miserable feeling, but hey, it happens. It happens to the best of us, actually. We’ve been there. We all have. But there’s a slight feeling of relief knowing that you are free. You’re “Perfectly Lonely,” as one Mr. John Mayer would say. Your friends and you have decided to vow off guys for a while. You’re already not alone right there. They've been hurt too. You all say boys are nothing but heartbreak and trouble, which, in past experiences, has been true. Right at this very moment in your life, it’s you time. You need to focus on whatever is sitting in front of you in life—job, school, family, your pet cat, etc. It’s time to make amends with the everyday lifestyle you seem to have been ignoring lately.
At least this is how I've felt today.
It all started with a silly history test. Being the born procrastinator that I am, I didn’t even begin to study until the last minute. When I say “last minute,” I mean from 6:30 AM until the test at 1:00 PM. It was the plan to study the night before, but the words “John Mayer tickets still available” sounded so much more alluring than “The Gilded Age.” But I was still being a good little student by at least trying not to fail the test. After the test, I was quick to be out of that door, knowing I had a pair of pajamas waiting for me at home with some leftover chinese food. (YUM!)
After the 20 minute attack by the 50 questions on the test, I quickly paused to talk with a small group from class about how their tests went. We were all slightly confident, but we all had a few questions that we weren’t sure about. I didn’t notice him at first. He was slightly blending in with the group, but he slowly began to become more prominent. I announced my departure as he followed suit. We talked all the way down the stairs and then some. We were standing outside in the corridor of MTSU’s lovely Peck Hall talking while my face turned red for the cold. Trust me. I don’t just stand out in the cold for the hell of it. This guy had my attention. He was attractive, with long shaggy brown hair, sideburns-soon-to-be-mutton-chops, and a cute smile. He wore glasses that hung nicely on his John Lennon-esque nose. Come to think of it, he had a lot of Lennon features. Maybe that was my initial attraction. He was a chubby Lennon. Odd… I usually go for the Paul lookalikes. More than that, he was a very interesting guy. He just spent several weeks in Europe studying history, plans on doing it again spring break, and just had a lot of insight in the world. He was sweet, and after talking for so long (until I couldn’t feel my feet anymore) he walked me to my car, knowing that he had to go back onto campus. It was broad daylight—he wasn’t doing it “for my protection.” When I told him we were parked in the same lot, his reaction was “great, we can talk a little more while we walk to it.” He had a sweet smile too. The gloriousness of the whole thing was the fact that we could go on for almost an hour talking about things and the last thing we did before we parted ways was learn each other’s names.
I’m not jumping in head first again, but the initial attraction is definitely there. I’m excited to see how next class pans out. Will we sit by each other? Talk after class? Exchange numbers? Who knows. It’s so much like high school all over again. I think that’s how it’s supposed to work. But it was nice to get a lot of attention from a guy (that isn’t one of my best friends) again. Honestly, we’ve all seen this situation before. It really happens every time. You stop looking, and someone comes up. When you look then every decent guy disappears. Why is this true? Do the good guys only exist when we aren’t using our vivid imaginations and we least expect it, or have they been there so close to us that we just see right through them? All I know is there are options. Options, options, options.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Ten Most Underrated Beatles Songs
I couldn't figure out where I wanted to place this and, after cleaning this place up a little, this is probably the best place to put it. I was talking to one of my friends tonight and because of one little lyric, it inspired this whole blog.
Yes, my favourite band is the most popular band in the entire world, and I understand this. And they have made some of the greatest and most popular songs of all time: "Revolution," "Come Together," "I Want to Hold Your Hand," "All You Need Is Love," and "Yesterday," just to name a VERY few. But there are so many songs that the Beatles have done that don't get the recognition for how absolutely amazing they are. They'll never be on the radio except on all day Beatles marathons (which only happen once every 100 years on 09/09/09 apparently)
This is where I get to share my personal favourite underrated Beatles songs. Some may have never heard these, where others will agree/disagree. I am always welcoming feedback
So here we go!
1. I'll Follow The Sun [1964- Beatles For Sale (US- Beatles '65)]
I am probably the most bias on this one than all of them. This song is quite possibly my favorite Beatles song EVER, and yet many many people have never heard it. What makes this song so amazingly beautiful is the irony in the song. The beat is very light but the lyrics are so... not. The first line of the song is "One day, you'll look to see I've gone, but tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun." It's a paralyzing irony that I instantly fell in love with the first time I heard it.
Music and Lyrics:
2. For No One [1966 Revolver]
Very McCartney-strong, it is one of the greatest songs ever written, in my opinion. It is also a lyrically powerful song, going through a broken hearted man's mind. It's a relateable song, and honestly, I'd probably say a lot of these lyrics to my best friend after a breakup of his. I honestly can't explain why this song is so amazing to me, but considering it has the highest plays on my iTunes, there's definitely something about it.
Music (with lyrics)
3. She's Leaving Home [1967 Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band]
For such a groundbreaking album like , a lot of songs are forgotten on this album. This is probably the most forgotten and one of my favorites. This song was actually the song that inspired this whole thing because I have a meeting "friday morning at nine o'clock." It is one of those songs that tells a story-- a modern ballad, per se. I feel like part of this song some can relate to, especially when theyre out on their own for the first time (and haven't had a lot of love and attention). I definitely know a few people that need to hear this song.
4. Rain [1966 B-Side to "Paperback Writer" (later released on Past Masters, Vol 2)]
When I first became a fan, I didn't realize there was a Beatle's song named "Rain." And it perplexed me that a Beatle tribute band would be named this. Most of us have heard "Paperback Writer" and this was the b-side of the single, and honestly, they're pretty much the same song. The reason this song is so important-- the first time the Beatles (and possibly anyone? someone correct me if I'm wrong) used backwards vocals. It was almost an introduction to Revolver with that aspect, for songs like "Tomorrow Never Knows" and "I'm Only Sleeping" used backwards guitar solos.
5. Helter Skelter [1968 The Beatles (aka the White Album)]
Most of the songs I've mentioned previously have not been well-known. And you might be wondering "why the hell is this song on here?" It's popular for all the wrong reasons. I hate that this song's has been tainted by such a terrible event. Damn you Charles Manson! But this song is... amazing. Musically, it is CRAZY. It was written after Pete Townshend (The Who) said the Beatles couldn't rock. Trust me, this song fucking rocks. If any Beatles song will break my speakers it will be this song or "Revolution." It is probably my favorite song to play on Rockband. I still laugh thinking about the Russian guy beside me starting to mosh when Paul performed it in NYC.
6. Tomorrow Never Knows [1966 Revolver]
A canadian reporter said the first line of this song was the motto of psychedelia: "Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream..." I must say I agree with him. More than that, I feel like this song was a preview to where the Beatles (and music in general) were going, especially considering Sgt Pepper was the next album to come out. It was the Sgt. Pepper "trailer," even more so than Strawberry Fields Forever. That, and I think it's GENIUS that the "seagull" sound is Paul laughing sped up and slowed down in different areas. And I have to recommend listening to this remastered.
7. The Night Before [1965 Help!]
This song is one of the songs that just makes me want to get up and dance. Honestly, it has a very strong "surf music" vibe, and I start dancing like I'm at some 1960s beach party everytime I hear it. I turn this song up a lot with the windows rolled down. It definitely would've been successful as a single (and before some of you say "its the Beatles, of course it would be!" A song like "Strawberry Fields Forever" didn't hit #1... what we consider some of the best songs didn't hit #1!)
This is the one song that I'm going to put up an actual VIDEO of it, not a youtube with lyrics. Just because they look so good in it! I still would ask you listen.
8. Things We Said Today [1964 A Hard Days Night (US Something New)]
I actually remember hearing this song on the radio when I was younger, and I honestly didn't think it was the Beatles. Another lyric song, and one of the greats coming from A Hard Days Night.. I'll let you guys figure out why its on here without my explanation.
9. Old Brown Shoe [B-side "The Ballad of John and Yoko", later Past Masters Vol 2]
Yes, it took me THIS long to get to a George song (there are a LOT of underrated songs!) I just absolutely love this song, and it is probably one of those songs that you have to grow to like. I feel that if it would've made one of the actual studio albums, rather than b-sides and compilation albums, it would've been much more popular. It has the same vibe as "Savoy Truffle" to me, but I enjoy it a little more. It also is a little heavier on the guitar.
10. If I Needed Someone [1965 Rubber Soul (US-- Yesterday... and Today!)]
I was actually struggling for a final song to round up the ten and major facepalm on my part. This song is a MAJOR part of why I am a Beatles fan. The first time I heard this song I was actually drawn to tears because I had recently gone through a breakup and the breakup actually made sense after this song. It basically told me "hey, life is all about the timing." It's one of those songs that proves that the Beatles have a song for pretty much EVERYTHING. I'm thrilled it made the Beatles Rockband, but I'm kind of sad none of my friends know it and don't want to play it because of that.
Honorable Mentions:
Oh! Darling (Most people didn't know this was a Beatles song before Across The Universe, unfortunately that includes me, and its sad thats the only way some people know the song still. But I must say, Hanson does a very nice cover of it, but that's just personal preference)
I Me Mine (Let It Be)
Run For Your Life (Rubber Soul)
Hey Bulldog (Yellow Submarine)
You Can't Do That (A Hard Days Night))
She Said She Said (Revolver)
Here There and Everywhere (Revolver. I can't decide if this is "underrated" or not. A lot of people know it, so i kept it off the top 10. That, and I have a heavy bias since I plan on this song being my first dance at my wedding)
This could go on forever and ever, but it's 5 AM and I have to get up in 4 hours.
Hope I just added 10-15 great songs to your iTunes. Feel free to add ones you guys think of as well!
Yes, my favourite band is the most popular band in the entire world, and I understand this. And they have made some of the greatest and most popular songs of all time: "Revolution," "Come Together," "I Want to Hold Your Hand," "All You Need Is Love," and "Yesterday," just to name a VERY few. But there are so many songs that the Beatles have done that don't get the recognition for how absolutely amazing they are. They'll never be on the radio except on all day Beatles marathons (which only happen once every 100 years on 09/09/09 apparently)
This is where I get to share my personal favourite underrated Beatles songs. Some may have never heard these, where others will agree/disagree. I am always welcoming feedback
So here we go!
1. I'll Follow The Sun [1964- Beatles For Sale (US- Beatles '65)]
I am probably the most bias on this one than all of them. This song is quite possibly my favorite Beatles song EVER, and yet many many people have never heard it. What makes this song so amazingly beautiful is the irony in the song. The beat is very light but the lyrics are so... not. The first line of the song is "One day, you'll look to see I've gone, but tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun." It's a paralyzing irony that I instantly fell in love with the first time I heard it.
Music and Lyrics:
2. For No One [1966 Revolver]
Very McCartney-strong, it is one of the greatest songs ever written, in my opinion. It is also a lyrically powerful song, going through a broken hearted man's mind. It's a relateable song, and honestly, I'd probably say a lot of these lyrics to my best friend after a breakup of his. I honestly can't explain why this song is so amazing to me, but considering it has the highest plays on my iTunes, there's definitely something about it.
Music (with lyrics)
3. She's Leaving Home [1967 Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band]
For such a groundbreaking album like , a lot of songs are forgotten on this album. This is probably the most forgotten and one of my favorites. This song was actually the song that inspired this whole thing because I have a meeting "friday morning at nine o'clock." It is one of those songs that tells a story-- a modern ballad, per se. I feel like part of this song some can relate to, especially when theyre out on their own for the first time (and haven't had a lot of love and attention). I definitely know a few people that need to hear this song.
4. Rain [1966 B-Side to "Paperback Writer" (later released on Past Masters, Vol 2)]
When I first became a fan, I didn't realize there was a Beatle's song named "Rain." And it perplexed me that a Beatle tribute band would be named this. Most of us have heard "Paperback Writer" and this was the b-side of the single, and honestly, they're pretty much the same song. The reason this song is so important-- the first time the Beatles (and possibly anyone? someone correct me if I'm wrong) used backwards vocals. It was almost an introduction to Revolver with that aspect, for songs like "Tomorrow Never Knows" and "I'm Only Sleeping" used backwards guitar solos.
5. Helter Skelter [1968 The Beatles (aka the White Album)]
Most of the songs I've mentioned previously have not been well-known. And you might be wondering "why the hell is this song on here?" It's popular for all the wrong reasons. I hate that this song's has been tainted by such a terrible event. Damn you Charles Manson! But this song is... amazing. Musically, it is CRAZY. It was written after Pete Townshend (The Who) said the Beatles couldn't rock. Trust me, this song fucking rocks. If any Beatles song will break my speakers it will be this song or "Revolution." It is probably my favorite song to play on Rockband. I still laugh thinking about the Russian guy beside me starting to mosh when Paul performed it in NYC.
6. Tomorrow Never Knows [1966 Revolver]
A canadian reporter said the first line of this song was the motto of psychedelia: "Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream..." I must say I agree with him. More than that, I feel like this song was a preview to where the Beatles (and music in general) were going, especially considering Sgt Pepper was the next album to come out. It was the Sgt. Pepper "trailer," even more so than Strawberry Fields Forever. That, and I think it's GENIUS that the "seagull" sound is Paul laughing sped up and slowed down in different areas. And I have to recommend listening to this remastered.
7. The Night Before [1965 Help!]
This song is one of the songs that just makes me want to get up and dance. Honestly, it has a very strong "surf music" vibe, and I start dancing like I'm at some 1960s beach party everytime I hear it. I turn this song up a lot with the windows rolled down. It definitely would've been successful as a single (and before some of you say "its the Beatles, of course it would be!" A song like "Strawberry Fields Forever" didn't hit #1... what we consider some of the best songs didn't hit #1!)
This is the one song that I'm going to put up an actual VIDEO of it, not a youtube with lyrics. Just because they look so good in it! I still would ask you listen.
8. Things We Said Today [1964 A Hard Days Night (US Something New)]
I actually remember hearing this song on the radio when I was younger, and I honestly didn't think it was the Beatles. Another lyric song, and one of the greats coming from A Hard Days Night.. I'll let you guys figure out why its on here without my explanation.
9. Old Brown Shoe [B-side "The Ballad of John and Yoko", later Past Masters Vol 2]
Yes, it took me THIS long to get to a George song (there are a LOT of underrated songs!) I just absolutely love this song, and it is probably one of those songs that you have to grow to like. I feel that if it would've made one of the actual studio albums, rather than b-sides and compilation albums, it would've been much more popular. It has the same vibe as "Savoy Truffle" to me, but I enjoy it a little more. It also is a little heavier on the guitar.
10. If I Needed Someone [1965 Rubber Soul (US-- Yesterday... and Today!)]
I was actually struggling for a final song to round up the ten and major facepalm on my part. This song is a MAJOR part of why I am a Beatles fan. The first time I heard this song I was actually drawn to tears because I had recently gone through a breakup and the breakup actually made sense after this song. It basically told me "hey, life is all about the timing." It's one of those songs that proves that the Beatles have a song for pretty much EVERYTHING. I'm thrilled it made the Beatles Rockband, but I'm kind of sad none of my friends know it and don't want to play it because of that.
Honorable Mentions:
Oh! Darling (Most people didn't know this was a Beatles song before Across The Universe, unfortunately that includes me, and its sad thats the only way some people know the song still. But I must say, Hanson does a very nice cover of it, but that's just personal preference)
I Me Mine (Let It Be)
Run For Your Life (Rubber Soul)
Hey Bulldog (Yellow Submarine)
You Can't Do That (A Hard Days Night))
She Said She Said (Revolver)
Here There and Everywhere (Revolver. I can't decide if this is "underrated" or not. A lot of people know it, so i kept it off the top 10. That, and I have a heavy bias since I plan on this song being my first dance at my wedding)
This could go on forever and ever, but it's 5 AM and I have to get up in 4 hours.
Hope I just added 10-15 great songs to your iTunes. Feel free to add ones you guys think of as well!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Reflections of the way I used to be
Yes, for once in my life I'm not quoting the Beatles. I kinda quoted the Supremes, but not really.
I have changed more in the past six months than I have in my entire life. I've gone through self reflections until my entire soul seemed to be on an invisible mirror in front of me. I've re-connected with old friends that should've happened years ago. I received a second chance from an old ex (who's also an old friend) and I realized who loves me and who I love. I still let things get to me, obviously, but I don't hold them in my heart or head anymore. They're gone by the end of the day.
The self reflections seem to be made more aware when I confess to them.
I sincerely think I have bad trust issues. Even just to a friend. I feel like there is always something going on behind my back. I feel there are always secrets. Honestly, do I even know anyone I've ever met? I thought I knew some people, then they completely turned on me. I've had people get belligerent with me over something completely unnecessary and then have some act like I dropped off the face of the earth (and one of those had me as a bridesmaid in her original wedding. Now she's getting married and I'm not even invited.) My trust factor has gone out the window. Okay, I'm stopping blaming everyone else... this is a reflection of ME. Sometimes I feel like I accidentally pushed them away. Like I held on too tight and sucked the life out of the friendship. Actually, its not a trust issue... its more of a fear of losing someone for something either my fault or they never admitted to.
I've learned where and how amends need to be made. Sometimes I need to just say "i'm sorry. I effed up" and leave it up to them. In others it really needs to be a mutual apology or the other one needs to take some blame. I recently had a discussion with one of my close friends about an argument. She asked me "Why don't you just apologize?" Because that's not the right thing to do for once. I wasn't in the wrong with anything except maybe dropping contact. I never said anything to be sorry about. What she says I should've been sorry about were speculations on a Facebook note. I never said her name, and if she thought it was about her, then obviously she was guilty of something, no? I've GOT to stop apologizing for things that are honestly not my fault. Sure to most people it makes me the "bigger person," but in my heart, I know it just makes me weaker.
I have learned the perks of doing things alone. I once had a fear of going out alone. Some places I still do-- I won't go to a concert alone. Never will probably. But I shop alone now. Less people to tell me what I should wear or what I should buy. I don't have to listen to anyone laugh at me for going crazy over finding my last Beatle record for my collection or teasing me for trying on something that looks like it came from Hippieville. I rarely smoke with anyone anymore. I used to have to drag someone with me, and now, I kinda just keep it to myself. Thats why most people don't even know I smoke.
I realized I have a social life. And a fucking GREAT one at that. I've got friends I can call up at anytime and go "hey, lets go *insert place here*" What's even better? They call ME up. I always feared that I was that girl that people either went to for a last resort or they really didn't want to hang out with me. Call it the "catlady" fear. Now I realize they really want to hang with me.
Laughter keeps the world turning.I love making people laugh. I take myself as a joke now. But I could never do something like standup comedy or anything. I just like to make my closeknit friends laughing.
I have the greatest best friend in the world. He makes me smile more than anyone I know. And even though sometimes my heart plays games with me and I feel more than friends for him, I have never been so comfortable with him in my life. All of my encounters with him I really felt quite awkward. This past time there was no awkwardness at all. I still find it funny that the entire time at least someone at every place thought we were dating. I shouldve been more quick on my feet at some of the places (like where we ate-- "what do you mean you arent getting my food!?! some first date, asshole!" *storms out* hehehehehe XD) I guess its that best friend thing we have going on. He is my best friend and I know he'll always be there for me. Even when he embarrasses the hell out of me. I just wish he lived closer. And doesnt go into the AFN because then he'll just be farther away from me and... gah. Two hours is already too far =(
Dad and I have a better relationship after Paul. A LOT better. I realize he's not out to get me. He's not a bad dad at all. He just told me he took my car out for a spin last night and while listening to Revolver he remembered Paul and told me remembering the trip made his day brighter.
I'm done for now. I'll update later. Gotta get ready for work.
I have changed more in the past six months than I have in my entire life. I've gone through self reflections until my entire soul seemed to be on an invisible mirror in front of me. I've re-connected with old friends that should've happened years ago. I received a second chance from an old ex (who's also an old friend) and I realized who loves me and who I love. I still let things get to me, obviously, but I don't hold them in my heart or head anymore. They're gone by the end of the day.
The self reflections seem to be made more aware when I confess to them.
I sincerely think I have bad trust issues. Even just to a friend. I feel like there is always something going on behind my back. I feel there are always secrets. Honestly, do I even know anyone I've ever met? I thought I knew some people, then they completely turned on me. I've had people get belligerent with me over something completely unnecessary and then have some act like I dropped off the face of the earth (and one of those had me as a bridesmaid in her original wedding. Now she's getting married and I'm not even invited.) My trust factor has gone out the window. Okay, I'm stopping blaming everyone else... this is a reflection of ME. Sometimes I feel like I accidentally pushed them away. Like I held on too tight and sucked the life out of the friendship. Actually, its not a trust issue... its more of a fear of losing someone for something either my fault or they never admitted to.
I've learned where and how amends need to be made. Sometimes I need to just say "i'm sorry. I effed up" and leave it up to them. In others it really needs to be a mutual apology or the other one needs to take some blame. I recently had a discussion with one of my close friends about an argument. She asked me "Why don't you just apologize?" Because that's not the right thing to do for once. I wasn't in the wrong with anything except maybe dropping contact. I never said anything to be sorry about. What she says I should've been sorry about were speculations on a Facebook note. I never said her name, and if she thought it was about her, then obviously she was guilty of something, no? I've GOT to stop apologizing for things that are honestly not my fault. Sure to most people it makes me the "bigger person," but in my heart, I know it just makes me weaker.
I have learned the perks of doing things alone. I once had a fear of going out alone. Some places I still do-- I won't go to a concert alone. Never will probably. But I shop alone now. Less people to tell me what I should wear or what I should buy. I don't have to listen to anyone laugh at me for going crazy over finding my last Beatle record for my collection or teasing me for trying on something that looks like it came from Hippieville. I rarely smoke with anyone anymore. I used to have to drag someone with me, and now, I kinda just keep it to myself. Thats why most people don't even know I smoke.
I realized I have a social life. And a fucking GREAT one at that. I've got friends I can call up at anytime and go "hey, lets go *insert place here*" What's even better? They call ME up. I always feared that I was that girl that people either went to for a last resort or they really didn't want to hang out with me. Call it the "catlady" fear. Now I realize they really want to hang with me.
Laughter keeps the world turning.I love making people laugh. I take myself as a joke now. But I could never do something like standup comedy or anything. I just like to make my closeknit friends laughing.
I have the greatest best friend in the world. He makes me smile more than anyone I know. And even though sometimes my heart plays games with me and I feel more than friends for him, I have never been so comfortable with him in my life. All of my encounters with him I really felt quite awkward. This past time there was no awkwardness at all. I still find it funny that the entire time at least someone at every place thought we were dating. I shouldve been more quick on my feet at some of the places (like where we ate-- "what do you mean you arent getting my food!?! some first date, asshole!" *storms out* hehehehehe XD) I guess its that best friend thing we have going on. He is my best friend and I know he'll always be there for me. Even when he embarrasses the hell out of me. I just wish he lived closer. And doesnt go into the AFN because then he'll just be farther away from me and... gah. Two hours is already too far =(
Dad and I have a better relationship after Paul. A LOT better. I realize he's not out to get me. He's not a bad dad at all. He just told me he took my car out for a spin last night and while listening to Revolver he remembered Paul and told me remembering the trip made his day brighter.
I'm done for now. I'll update later. Gotta get ready for work.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
What I shouldve said a long time ago
Last night, I wore out my ipod till it died while listening to music. It was another hard-to-sleep night. It wasn't sleepless, I eventually was worn out enough to sleep. But my mind was still stuck racing.
I'm lingering towards an entire year of being single. I feel like I wasted half of that year trying to get back someone that I knew would never have worked with. In the process, I lost him as a good friend, and no matter how many times I apologize for my stupidity, I don't ever expect a friendship back. If he does, then that would be awesome. He didn't deserve the shit I put him through. I'm different now, but I think he's different too. I don't love him anymore, but I still care for him. I think I held on so long because I was terrified of being the single one again.
I re-read Twilight last night and laughed my ass off. Girls actually believe that's how love is. That's almost... sickening. What I once thought was the most romantic things in that book almost made me want to gag. I guess thats why the books are so popular. Girls want to believe those guys exist. I think guys go through a chivalrous part of their life, but they eventually grow out of it. I started on New Moon this morning and 100 pages in, I already love this book 12032 times more than Twilight? Why? because its more relateable. Its more realistic. Broken hearts happen a whole helluva lot more often than Mr. Perfect going "You're my brand of heroin" (REALLY?! I used to think that was amazing... Now I laugh even typing it). It's the ugly truth.
I've recently gone through a bunch of changes. To get one complete thought out of my brain right now is like trying to get a taxi through Times Square on New Years. Its not going to happen. The last song I heard last night before I went to bed was "Say" by John Mayer. It steered my dreams to "say what I needed to say." But unfortunately, dream people are more accepting of apologies and reasoning than real life people. That being said, I feel that I'm better at writing it and if I wait to say it, my mind wont feel as clear and I'll mess it up and dig myself deeper into a hole. And so, theres a few things that I need to say to a few people. I don't even know if they read this blog, but I need to get it out.
-I miss you. But I refuse to go back to the way things were. You treated me like I was less than you. Especially after someone said something about me-- at first you kinda sorta defended me, but in the end, you questioned me and that really hurt. I ALWAYS defended you. A lot of my friends didn't like you. They said that you didn't treat me right, but I always defended you. I always said "it doesn't matter. she's my best friend, not yours." The last few months, I felt used. And then all the things you said to me that night... It really hurt. I was cornered and I felt like I couldn't defend myself. You called me a hypocrite, but several things you accused me of you do just as much. That night... I didn't even know you. I hate that I didn't say something before, and that's my fault. I'll take blame for me not handling this in the most proper way. But friendship has been and always will be a two way street. Somewhere along the line... your lane merged and I had to pull the weight. Its sad that something we both love so much pulled us apart. I can make amends, but it wont automatically be back to normal.
-I should have known better with a guy like you. Not trying to quote the Beatles song, but I really should have. I feel like I lied to you. You're my best friend, and yet I feel like I lied to you. Your best friend you tell everything to, and I kept a little back in my head while you really poured your heart out. You always tell me I have this "brutal honesty" thing with you, and I wasn't brutally honest about this. And I know it was because I'm terrified of how you would react. You know now, but you don't know all of it. You don't know why. You don't know how. One night, we were talking, and it didn't feel like we were talking best friend to best friend... it felt... like the conversations I've had with people I've been romantically involved in. Your voice softened, and it was the most comforting thing in the world. I literally had deja vu, and there was no deja vu to compare it to. That scared me. I mean, completely petrified. I got right out of my bed and talked to my mom, and even she couldn't figure out what was going on there.
All of this being said, I don't want anything to change between us. I wasn't kidding that one night when I said I need you more than you need me. It is the most honest thing I have said quite possibly ever.. and definitely the most vulnerable thing. You know me, I'm strong (especially with you in the picture) and this is my Kryptonite. I know you care about me and I know you love me (in the non-romantic way) You're the only constant in my life right now. But I fought these feelings back... for a while. I think I got the idea back around Christmas. I said I couldn't, because you were the best guy friend I had and I didn't want to risk the friendship. That worked for a long time. Then something changed between a guy I had always had feelings for and me. So there was another void that I needed you to fill.But... I think I already risked a lot of that. And that scares me. Yesterday's conversation... you would need a chainsaw to cut the tension. And don't act like it was just one sided. You wanted to say something and I could tell you held back. Its the best friend vibe I get from you. And you can talk about your girls. That will actually probably help more than anything for me to quit having feelings for you =P
Okay, I've said what I need to say. I hope it makes sense.
I'm lingering towards an entire year of being single. I feel like I wasted half of that year trying to get back someone that I knew would never have worked with. In the process, I lost him as a good friend, and no matter how many times I apologize for my stupidity, I don't ever expect a friendship back. If he does, then that would be awesome. He didn't deserve the shit I put him through. I'm different now, but I think he's different too. I don't love him anymore, but I still care for him. I think I held on so long because I was terrified of being the single one again.
I re-read Twilight last night and laughed my ass off. Girls actually believe that's how love is. That's almost... sickening. What I once thought was the most romantic things in that book almost made me want to gag. I guess thats why the books are so popular. Girls want to believe those guys exist. I think guys go through a chivalrous part of their life, but they eventually grow out of it. I started on New Moon this morning and 100 pages in, I already love this book 12032 times more than Twilight? Why? because its more relateable. Its more realistic. Broken hearts happen a whole helluva lot more often than Mr. Perfect going "You're my brand of heroin" (REALLY?! I used to think that was amazing... Now I laugh even typing it). It's the ugly truth.
I've recently gone through a bunch of changes. To get one complete thought out of my brain right now is like trying to get a taxi through Times Square on New Years. Its not going to happen. The last song I heard last night before I went to bed was "Say" by John Mayer. It steered my dreams to "say what I needed to say." But unfortunately, dream people are more accepting of apologies and reasoning than real life people. That being said, I feel that I'm better at writing it and if I wait to say it, my mind wont feel as clear and I'll mess it up and dig myself deeper into a hole. And so, theres a few things that I need to say to a few people. I don't even know if they read this blog, but I need to get it out.
-I miss you. But I refuse to go back to the way things were. You treated me like I was less than you. Especially after someone said something about me-- at first you kinda sorta defended me, but in the end, you questioned me and that really hurt. I ALWAYS defended you. A lot of my friends didn't like you. They said that you didn't treat me right, but I always defended you. I always said "it doesn't matter. she's my best friend, not yours." The last few months, I felt used. And then all the things you said to me that night... It really hurt. I was cornered and I felt like I couldn't defend myself. You called me a hypocrite, but several things you accused me of you do just as much. That night... I didn't even know you. I hate that I didn't say something before, and that's my fault. I'll take blame for me not handling this in the most proper way. But friendship has been and always will be a two way street. Somewhere along the line... your lane merged and I had to pull the weight. Its sad that something we both love so much pulled us apart. I can make amends, but it wont automatically be back to normal.
-I should have known better with a guy like you. Not trying to quote the Beatles song, but I really should have. I feel like I lied to you. You're my best friend, and yet I feel like I lied to you. Your best friend you tell everything to, and I kept a little back in my head while you really poured your heart out. You always tell me I have this "brutal honesty" thing with you, and I wasn't brutally honest about this. And I know it was because I'm terrified of how you would react. You know now, but you don't know all of it. You don't know why. You don't know how. One night, we were talking, and it didn't feel like we were talking best friend to best friend... it felt... like the conversations I've had with people I've been romantically involved in. Your voice softened, and it was the most comforting thing in the world. I literally had deja vu, and there was no deja vu to compare it to. That scared me. I mean, completely petrified. I got right out of my bed and talked to my mom, and even she couldn't figure out what was going on there.
All of this being said, I don't want anything to change between us. I wasn't kidding that one night when I said I need you more than you need me. It is the most honest thing I have said quite possibly ever.. and definitely the most vulnerable thing. You know me, I'm strong (especially with you in the picture) and this is my Kryptonite. I know you care about me and I know you love me (in the non-romantic way) You're the only constant in my life right now. But I fought these feelings back... for a while. I think I got the idea back around Christmas. I said I couldn't, because you were the best guy friend I had and I didn't want to risk the friendship. That worked for a long time. Then something changed between a guy I had always had feelings for and me. So there was another void that I needed you to fill.But... I think I already risked a lot of that. And that scares me. Yesterday's conversation... you would need a chainsaw to cut the tension. And don't act like it was just one sided. You wanted to say something and I could tell you held back. Its the best friend vibe I get from you. And you can talk about your girls. That will actually probably help more than anything for me to quit having feelings for you =P
Okay, I've said what I need to say. I hope it makes sense.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Feeling down... hoping reminiscing about Macca will make me feel better.
I already wish I could go back to this weekend. Reality has kicked me in the ass.
You already know Paul McCartney's show was amazing. He's Paul. He's a damn Beatle. Of COURSE its gonna be good. But I never expected it to be THIS amazing.
First and foremost, I am really glad I got to go to the "Shea Stadium repeat" shows. Selfish or not, I really wanted to hear Paul play Beatles songs. Those were honestly the songs that helped me more than anything. I honestly wasn't expecting him to play OVER 20 Beatles songs though! That thoroughly surprised me. A pleasant pleasant surprise, might I add.
He opened the show with "Drive my Car" (which I heard later on the train seems to be a standard show starter with Paul) quickly followed by Jet (and I think now thats why my shoulder is thrown out of socket). He then played "Only Mama Knows" and I was expecting a bunch of solo items. It wasn't too long before he was playing "Got To Get You Into My Life" and "The Long And Winding Road"
The turning point of the entire concert was when he came out with just a guitar. It was too early in the show to be "Yesterday," so I just had this gut feeling it was Blackbird. The guy that was sitting behind me agreed. We were very pleased that we were right. He explained why he wrote the song-- it was during the civil rights movement and wrote it about a young black girl in the south. It makes all the sense in the world, and is one of the best use of symbolism I've seen in a song. He then followed with an intense version of "Here Today"-- a song he wrote about John after he was murdered. He started out with "When John passed away" and he couldn't get another word out before the crowd cheered. He then asked everyone to "give it up for Johnny" and then explained it was all the things he wished he had said before John passed. I think he almost cried. He said that song drains him more than anything, so what was the best thing to do? Play "Dance Tonight" and get everyone on their feet.
I know many of my friends had sidebets on when I would cry. Would I cry when Paul walked on stage for the first time? Would I cry when he played a special Beatles song? I actually was very surprised when about an hour of performance had gone by and I hadn't cried... Then he came out with a ukelele. He walked up to the stage and said "I don't know if many of you know this, but George was a great ukelele player" and continues with some fun stories about him and George. Once again, he asked everyone to give it up for George, and I was very happy to cheer louder than I had the entire show (his cheer was equal to John's, which spoke a lot about how much the audience loved The Beatles, not John Lennon or Paul McCartney or George Harrison... Or Ringo, possibly) He then comes out with a ukelele version of "Something" (Which everyone sang the guitar part, including Paul) After the first verse, the band then comes out from the darkness of the stage and finishes the song as a big band. In the background were pictures of George and Paul-- from Paul's archives. I have seen thousands and thousands of pictures of George, and never saw those ones. I started crying. I also think that showed a lot about how close Paul and George were... Granted, they had more time than John and Paul did. It reminded me of the show that I had watched Paul on one time where he described his last moments with George before he passed. And thats all I will say about that (I've cried enough tonight) Paul followed that song with a nice little remark to ease the mood, saying "Frank Sinatra would later say that was his favorite Lennon McCartney song."--equipped with a hilarious snarky look on his face.
Paul rocked it out. I mean, full on ROCKED it. My dad described it fairly well. The first half of the show wasn't necessarily bland, but it was all about the music. It wasn't until he lashed out "Live and Let Die" complete with fireworks and pyrotechnics that said "Suck it Jonas Brothers" that the show went from epic to... fucking awesome. That's when the tides changed. At the end of "Live and Let Die" Paul banged the piano, sending the last bits of fire and fireworks into the air. The crowd cheered for at least 5 minutes while he recovered on the piano. He kept on making gestures that he couldn't hear.
He did some standard "Paul" stuff. "I Saw Her Standing There," "Get Back," and "Let it Be" I expected. I expected "Yesterday" and was very pleased with the outcome of that one. I loved "Hey Jude" a lot more than I expected, and I was humored when he had the entire crowd singing. He did "guys only" and "birds only" which made it more entertaining-- he basically hypnotized 50,000 people. There were some songs he came out with that I REALLY wasn't expecting. As soon as he finished "Band on the Run" (another staple), we all the sudden hear a jet sound come over the speakers before he lashes out "Back in the USSR." This wasn't the first time I had heard this at an epic concert-- Elton John and Billy Joel covered it in Nashville. But to hear the man who wrote it perform it... Elton who? Also, in his second encore, he played a song I NEVER thought I'd hear live-- "Helter Skelter." I have an obsession with this song, and I hate that Charles Manson has forever ruined the image of that song. The guy I was standing beside the entire show was headbanging to it and I must admit that I did to. He also did "A Day In The Life" that had the entire audience singing the "ahhhhh" after "went into a dream"... he messed us all up though as he came out with "Give Peace A Chance." All of us were quick to throw up our peace signs and sing along.
I was humoured by the fact that he played like he was still in the Beatles. He bounced when he played bass like he used to back in 1964. He never took a break. He played an endless 2 1/2 hours and had two encores. And I never realized how AMAZING of a guitar player he is. He threw out some Hendrix licks after "Let Me Roll It," leaving all of us in a crazed awe. He came up to the mic afterwards going "And that completes the Jimi Tribute of the show" and proceeds to tell the story of the release of Sgt Pepper on Friday, with Hendrix playing the entire record at his show the following Sunday. He was running around the stage like he was half his age. And if a 50000 person audience can be an intimate show, it would be this show. When Paul was on Letterman, he was extra witty, and I thought it might've been just scripted. Nope. That's just ol' Paulie. He would frequently refer to the Shea Stadium show with the Beatles, commenting that he couldn't hear anything from the combination of the bad PA system (followed with an impersonation of it) and "all the screaming girls." All of us girls would then follow with a very high pitched Beatlemaniac scream. Paul would laugh and go "Yeah like that." He did this several times throughout the show, the final time saying "I'm just being shameless now aren't I?" He was witty and shared moments with the crowd that we had always wanted answers to. He told us stories of his life, why he wrote this song, why he loved performing another song, and just little snippets of witty comments. He would read the signs. One of them said "Marry Me Paul" and he quickly yelled "NOO!" followed by a bellowing laugh from both him and the audience. He was having fun. He was doing it all his way, no strings attached.
All of this being said. I miss it all. Paul's show opened my eyes. I just experienced something I never would've expected possible. It made me realize nothing's out of reach and if I want to do it, I should work to get it and do it my way. I think "Here Today" did more for me than anything. Paul having that reaction on stage. Also when he did "My Love" and dedicated it to Linda (and the crowd cheered as loud as they did for John and George. Everyone loved Linda. God rest her soul) it opened my eyes that the people I love aren't always gonna be here. I need to tell them I love them before its too late. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
Paul's show was just one step towards a new me. I needed something to jolt me into thinking about what I want to do with my life.
And then I turn back to reality and it starts kicking my butt.
Its gonna be a long process. But it feels right. I was more than blessed to witness such a monumental show. My life will never be the same.
You already know Paul McCartney's show was amazing. He's Paul. He's a damn Beatle. Of COURSE its gonna be good. But I never expected it to be THIS amazing.
First and foremost, I am really glad I got to go to the "Shea Stadium repeat" shows. Selfish or not, I really wanted to hear Paul play Beatles songs. Those were honestly the songs that helped me more than anything. I honestly wasn't expecting him to play OVER 20 Beatles songs though! That thoroughly surprised me. A pleasant pleasant surprise, might I add.
He opened the show with "Drive my Car" (which I heard later on the train seems to be a standard show starter with Paul) quickly followed by Jet (and I think now thats why my shoulder is thrown out of socket). He then played "Only Mama Knows" and I was expecting a bunch of solo items. It wasn't too long before he was playing "Got To Get You Into My Life" and "The Long And Winding Road"
The turning point of the entire concert was when he came out with just a guitar. It was too early in the show to be "Yesterday," so I just had this gut feeling it was Blackbird. The guy that was sitting behind me agreed. We were very pleased that we were right. He explained why he wrote the song-- it was during the civil rights movement and wrote it about a young black girl in the south. It makes all the sense in the world, and is one of the best use of symbolism I've seen in a song. He then followed with an intense version of "Here Today"-- a song he wrote about John after he was murdered. He started out with "When John passed away" and he couldn't get another word out before the crowd cheered. He then asked everyone to "give it up for Johnny" and then explained it was all the things he wished he had said before John passed. I think he almost cried. He said that song drains him more than anything, so what was the best thing to do? Play "Dance Tonight" and get everyone on their feet.
I know many of my friends had sidebets on when I would cry. Would I cry when Paul walked on stage for the first time? Would I cry when he played a special Beatles song? I actually was very surprised when about an hour of performance had gone by and I hadn't cried... Then he came out with a ukelele. He walked up to the stage and said "I don't know if many of you know this, but George was a great ukelele player" and continues with some fun stories about him and George. Once again, he asked everyone to give it up for George, and I was very happy to cheer louder than I had the entire show (his cheer was equal to John's, which spoke a lot about how much the audience loved The Beatles, not John Lennon or Paul McCartney or George Harrison... Or Ringo, possibly) He then comes out with a ukelele version of "Something" (Which everyone sang the guitar part, including Paul) After the first verse, the band then comes out from the darkness of the stage and finishes the song as a big band. In the background were pictures of George and Paul-- from Paul's archives. I have seen thousands and thousands of pictures of George, and never saw those ones. I started crying. I also think that showed a lot about how close Paul and George were... Granted, they had more time than John and Paul did. It reminded me of the show that I had watched Paul on one time where he described his last moments with George before he passed. And thats all I will say about that (I've cried enough tonight) Paul followed that song with a nice little remark to ease the mood, saying "Frank Sinatra would later say that was his favorite Lennon McCartney song."--equipped with a hilarious snarky look on his face.
Paul rocked it out. I mean, full on ROCKED it. My dad described it fairly well. The first half of the show wasn't necessarily bland, but it was all about the music. It wasn't until he lashed out "Live and Let Die" complete with fireworks and pyrotechnics that said "Suck it Jonas Brothers" that the show went from epic to... fucking awesome. That's when the tides changed. At the end of "Live and Let Die" Paul banged the piano, sending the last bits of fire and fireworks into the air. The crowd cheered for at least 5 minutes while he recovered on the piano. He kept on making gestures that he couldn't hear.
He did some standard "Paul" stuff. "I Saw Her Standing There," "Get Back," and "Let it Be" I expected. I expected "Yesterday" and was very pleased with the outcome of that one. I loved "Hey Jude" a lot more than I expected, and I was humored when he had the entire crowd singing. He did "guys only" and "birds only" which made it more entertaining-- he basically hypnotized 50,000 people. There were some songs he came out with that I REALLY wasn't expecting. As soon as he finished "Band on the Run" (another staple), we all the sudden hear a jet sound come over the speakers before he lashes out "Back in the USSR." This wasn't the first time I had heard this at an epic concert-- Elton John and Billy Joel covered it in Nashville. But to hear the man who wrote it perform it... Elton who? Also, in his second encore, he played a song I NEVER thought I'd hear live-- "Helter Skelter." I have an obsession with this song, and I hate that Charles Manson has forever ruined the image of that song. The guy I was standing beside the entire show was headbanging to it and I must admit that I did to. He also did "A Day In The Life" that had the entire audience singing the "ahhhhh" after "went into a dream"... he messed us all up though as he came out with "Give Peace A Chance." All of us were quick to throw up our peace signs and sing along.
I was humoured by the fact that he played like he was still in the Beatles. He bounced when he played bass like he used to back in 1964. He never took a break. He played an endless 2 1/2 hours and had two encores. And I never realized how AMAZING of a guitar player he is. He threw out some Hendrix licks after "Let Me Roll It," leaving all of us in a crazed awe. He came up to the mic afterwards going "And that completes the Jimi Tribute of the show" and proceeds to tell the story of the release of Sgt Pepper on Friday, with Hendrix playing the entire record at his show the following Sunday. He was running around the stage like he was half his age. And if a 50000 person audience can be an intimate show, it would be this show. When Paul was on Letterman, he was extra witty, and I thought it might've been just scripted. Nope. That's just ol' Paulie. He would frequently refer to the Shea Stadium show with the Beatles, commenting that he couldn't hear anything from the combination of the bad PA system (followed with an impersonation of it) and "all the screaming girls." All of us girls would then follow with a very high pitched Beatlemaniac scream. Paul would laugh and go "Yeah like that." He did this several times throughout the show, the final time saying "I'm just being shameless now aren't I?" He was witty and shared moments with the crowd that we had always wanted answers to. He told us stories of his life, why he wrote this song, why he loved performing another song, and just little snippets of witty comments. He would read the signs. One of them said "Marry Me Paul" and he quickly yelled "NOO!" followed by a bellowing laugh from both him and the audience. He was having fun. He was doing it all his way, no strings attached.
All of this being said. I miss it all. Paul's show opened my eyes. I just experienced something I never would've expected possible. It made me realize nothing's out of reach and if I want to do it, I should work to get it and do it my way. I think "Here Today" did more for me than anything. Paul having that reaction on stage. Also when he did "My Love" and dedicated it to Linda (and the crowd cheered as loud as they did for John and George. Everyone loved Linda. God rest her soul) it opened my eyes that the people I love aren't always gonna be here. I need to tell them I love them before its too late. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
Paul's show was just one step towards a new me. I needed something to jolt me into thinking about what I want to do with my life.
And then I turn back to reality and it starts kicking my butt.
Its gonna be a long process. But it feels right. I was more than blessed to witness such a monumental show. My life will never be the same.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Back from New York... Recap Part One (before MACCA!)
How can I seriously sum up the best weekend of my entire life?
There's no way. So you guys have to witness probably the longest blog in the history of blogs. But i PROMISE its worth it (and I promise I'll have pics up ASAP. My computer is actually broken so I'm using dad's old work computer.) And I would've done a daily blog except for the fact that I was NOT paying 15 bucks a day for Internet.
I didn't sleep the night before my flight. The combination of last minute packing and "Oh my god I'm going to NYC" mode in full swing. Many people know I have a terrible fear of heights, and my last flight they doped me up on valium. Landing in LaGuardia is SCARY. You feel like youre about to crash land into water and then BAM theres a runway under you. Its scary as crap. The shuttle ride into the town gave me a crash course in New York traffic. We went down Houston St. First and I saw Katz Delicatessen (I have seen When Harry Met Sally WAY too many times to not recognize it) and the Mercury Lounge. Right then and there I was in love with the city. The hotel was kinda far away from all the touristy stuff, but we were just a subway from 42nd street (which I fell in love with just as much... if not more) It was even cooler getting to share a few of my moments with a good friend that I finally got to see. Even just for a few hours it was fun seeing her!
The city literally is a living thing. It has moods. You're in Times Square and its busy busy busy feeling with an extra burst of adrenaline. Central Park is very peaceful. The financial district has a tense feeling to it, until you move over to Battery Park and then its a peaceful oasis. And the moods change subconsciously. On the shuttle to my hotel, I got this really weird vibe. To be honest, I couldn't have told you where I was. We were in the end of city that WASNT a grid. Either way, I still got this weird vibe... like very uncomfortable. I look over at the next street and see a bunch of cranes and a small tower forming. The blue fencing says "WTCprogress.org." I was at ground zero and didn't even realize it. It was that vibe that perked me into figuring out where I was. I ended up staying not much more than a block away from Ground Zero the entire weekend. Its interesting seeing all the construction... Its oing on 24/7. We will prevail. the 2700+ that lost their lives there may someday have justice.
Going along with the vibes... It wouldn't have been right if I wouldn't have gone to Strawberry Fields while I was in New York. I took a tour and one of the stops was right across the street from the Dakota, where John Lennon was shot. Just TURNING onto the street from Amsterdam (Central Park West was where the bus stopped... which was near where he was shot) I had this uncontrollable feeling of grief. I was only able to take one picture before I was brought to tears. As we got up, there was another lady and her husband standing up to get off as well. She had tears in her eyes too. When I went to Strawberry Fields, I was doing well until I saw the flowers around the Imagine mosaic, and someone had left a framed drawing of John from back in 1964 (which, honestly, is the john I relate to). A guy stood beside me and we both just stared at it. I want to go to Strawberry Fields for both John and George. It would be an emotional hell for me for two weeks, but I'd still like to do it sometime. What was even cooler was as soon as you stepped out of the "quiet zone" (I'm assuming since Strawberry Fields has been made an official area of peace by a ton of countries) you hear people singing John songs and Beatles songs alike. One thing that bugged me was the vendors trying to sell me Jonas Brothers stuff right outside Strawberry Fields. Blasphemy! I wish my "I miss John Lennon" pin wouldn't have fallen off.
Okay to happy Beatles stuff. Considering I keep on getting distracted, I will do a review of Sir Paul's show tomorrow (and try to post pics too) I did more Beatley goodness, and I'm proud to say I only had one freakout Beatlemaniac moment that wasn't contained at citifield. Wednesday night, Paul played on the Marquee of the David Letterman Show at the Ed Sullivan Theatre. This is the same theatre the Beatles Debuted at on Feb 9 1964 in their first performance in the US. So i decided "Hey! lets get some good pizza and eat at the theatre while we're at it." I went to Angelo's Pizza, and didn't realize that the restaurant is UPSTAIRS. We sat at the window that Paul McCartney had to climb out to get to the marquee. (Insert batty fangirl moment here) I took pictures. It was funny. They were on the wall for being at the Ed Sullivan show and it had a little red ink on the photo with "CHEERS" written on it along with his autograph. Then there was a record store called Canopy (I SERIOUSLY recommend it. one of the best places in NYC. Its in Times Square and they ship around the world. All you gotta do is call them up and see if they have something you want) I found a BUNCH of beatles collectibles... from 15 dollars to 950 dollars. Also there was an art exhibit with a guy's art that I fell in love with. I hope one day to own some of his works.
I seriously miss NYC. this has been really hard to write because I miss it so much. I miss the City. I miss Paul. I miss everything. There's nothing to look forward to now... I guess October 8th.
But seriously. How can you top NYC and Paul McCartney?
Easy.
You don't.
There's no way. So you guys have to witness probably the longest blog in the history of blogs. But i PROMISE its worth it (and I promise I'll have pics up ASAP. My computer is actually broken so I'm using dad's old work computer.) And I would've done a daily blog except for the fact that I was NOT paying 15 bucks a day for Internet.
I didn't sleep the night before my flight. The combination of last minute packing and "Oh my god I'm going to NYC" mode in full swing. Many people know I have a terrible fear of heights, and my last flight they doped me up on valium. Landing in LaGuardia is SCARY. You feel like youre about to crash land into water and then BAM theres a runway under you. Its scary as crap. The shuttle ride into the town gave me a crash course in New York traffic. We went down Houston St. First and I saw Katz Delicatessen (I have seen When Harry Met Sally WAY too many times to not recognize it) and the Mercury Lounge. Right then and there I was in love with the city. The hotel was kinda far away from all the touristy stuff, but we were just a subway from 42nd street (which I fell in love with just as much... if not more) It was even cooler getting to share a few of my moments with a good friend that I finally got to see. Even just for a few hours it was fun seeing her!
The city literally is a living thing. It has moods. You're in Times Square and its busy busy busy feeling with an extra burst of adrenaline. Central Park is very peaceful. The financial district has a tense feeling to it, until you move over to Battery Park and then its a peaceful oasis. And the moods change subconsciously. On the shuttle to my hotel, I got this really weird vibe. To be honest, I couldn't have told you where I was. We were in the end of city that WASNT a grid. Either way, I still got this weird vibe... like very uncomfortable. I look over at the next street and see a bunch of cranes and a small tower forming. The blue fencing says "WTCprogress.org." I was at ground zero and didn't even realize it. It was that vibe that perked me into figuring out where I was. I ended up staying not much more than a block away from Ground Zero the entire weekend. Its interesting seeing all the construction... Its oing on 24/7. We will prevail. the 2700+ that lost their lives there may someday have justice.
Going along with the vibes... It wouldn't have been right if I wouldn't have gone to Strawberry Fields while I was in New York. I took a tour and one of the stops was right across the street from the Dakota, where John Lennon was shot. Just TURNING onto the street from Amsterdam (Central Park West was where the bus stopped... which was near where he was shot) I had this uncontrollable feeling of grief. I was only able to take one picture before I was brought to tears. As we got up, there was another lady and her husband standing up to get off as well. She had tears in her eyes too. When I went to Strawberry Fields, I was doing well until I saw the flowers around the Imagine mosaic, and someone had left a framed drawing of John from back in 1964 (which, honestly, is the john I relate to). A guy stood beside me and we both just stared at it. I want to go to Strawberry Fields for both John and George. It would be an emotional hell for me for two weeks, but I'd still like to do it sometime. What was even cooler was as soon as you stepped out of the "quiet zone" (I'm assuming since Strawberry Fields has been made an official area of peace by a ton of countries) you hear people singing John songs and Beatles songs alike. One thing that bugged me was the vendors trying to sell me Jonas Brothers stuff right outside Strawberry Fields. Blasphemy! I wish my "I miss John Lennon" pin wouldn't have fallen off.
Okay to happy Beatles stuff. Considering I keep on getting distracted, I will do a review of Sir Paul's show tomorrow (and try to post pics too) I did more Beatley goodness, and I'm proud to say I only had one freakout Beatlemaniac moment that wasn't contained at citifield. Wednesday night, Paul played on the Marquee of the David Letterman Show at the Ed Sullivan Theatre. This is the same theatre the Beatles Debuted at on Feb 9 1964 in their first performance in the US. So i decided "Hey! lets get some good pizza and eat at the theatre while we're at it." I went to Angelo's Pizza, and didn't realize that the restaurant is UPSTAIRS. We sat at the window that Paul McCartney had to climb out to get to the marquee. (Insert batty fangirl moment here) I took pictures. It was funny. They were on the wall for being at the Ed Sullivan show and it had a little red ink on the photo with "CHEERS" written on it along with his autograph. Then there was a record store called Canopy (I SERIOUSLY recommend it. one of the best places in NYC. Its in Times Square and they ship around the world. All you gotta do is call them up and see if they have something you want) I found a BUNCH of beatles collectibles... from 15 dollars to 950 dollars. Also there was an art exhibit with a guy's art that I fell in love with. I hope one day to own some of his works.
I seriously miss NYC. this has been really hard to write because I miss it so much. I miss the City. I miss Paul. I miss everything. There's nothing to look forward to now... I guess October 8th.
But seriously. How can you top NYC and Paul McCartney?
Easy.
You don't.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Start spreading the news. I'm leaving... in 12 hours...
Yes, folks, Minda is heading to New York City! in less than a day, I'll be on a plane heading to the Big Apple, and guess who has decided to make this her blog about the trip?!
So I'm going to see Paul McCartney more than anything, but I've been discussing where I'm going while I'm there. There are some things that are a must. I'm going to Central Park... Including Strawberry Fields and the Dakota (RIP John.) Im going to the Theatre District (including the Ed Sullivan Theatre) and Times Square... Dad wants to go to the Library (as do I), and our hotel is about 3 blocks from Ground Zero. And theres Heaven on 34th Street... I mean Macy's. I'm gonna get LOST in that Macy's and LOVE IT!!! AHHH! and no thank you, Empire State Building. Might hit a ferry to the Statue... havent decided yet.
I'm trying to conquer my fear of flying for the first time without drugs. The last time, I was prescribed Valium JUST to get on the plane. I still am having massive panic attacks worrying about it. I think I'm more worried about something happening that will keep me from seeing Paul more than anything. I've had nightmares every night of crazy events that could happen to keep me from going... plane malfunctions, broken bones, and even a dream about me getting appendicitis! I just have to stay positive.
But anyway. I'll be posting pictures a ton (and I owe Tonya my life for letting me borrow her camera) the next four days. No pics of Paul's show though. No cameras :( But I'll try to get a pic of old Shea Stadium before they demolish it as well.
I'm ready for this!
So I'm going to see Paul McCartney more than anything, but I've been discussing where I'm going while I'm there. There are some things that are a must. I'm going to Central Park... Including Strawberry Fields and the Dakota (RIP John.) Im going to the Theatre District (including the Ed Sullivan Theatre) and Times Square... Dad wants to go to the Library (as do I), and our hotel is about 3 blocks from Ground Zero. And theres Heaven on 34th Street... I mean Macy's. I'm gonna get LOST in that Macy's and LOVE IT!!! AHHH! and no thank you, Empire State Building. Might hit a ferry to the Statue... havent decided yet.
I'm trying to conquer my fear of flying for the first time without drugs. The last time, I was prescribed Valium JUST to get on the plane. I still am having massive panic attacks worrying about it. I think I'm more worried about something happening that will keep me from seeing Paul more than anything. I've had nightmares every night of crazy events that could happen to keep me from going... plane malfunctions, broken bones, and even a dream about me getting appendicitis! I just have to stay positive.
But anyway. I'll be posting pictures a ton (and I owe Tonya my life for letting me borrow her camera) the next four days. No pics of Paul's show though. No cameras :( But I'll try to get a pic of old Shea Stadium before they demolish it as well.
I'm ready for this!
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